sobriety is unspiritual

being realistic

lets see here

• no drinks into 2026 so far 🍻

• no nicotine for 2 weeks 🥬

so something i just want to sort of lay out here is my personal thoughts on sobriety into 2026 - i did go into this like i would be able to elevate in multiple areas of life. i can see that or i was observing other people who were sober and what did they have what i wanted or whatever - tbh i wasnt that unaware like when i saw a boomer that was in AA with a BMW i had every right to assume that the BMW was not exactly from sobriety but from being a boomer

but it is only a month in but tbh this is what i am observing which is no better no worse and this is not meant to dissuade people.

so the only actual 100 tangible thing from sobriety that i feel is vanity. like sobriety is 100% giving me the chance to have a great body, face, and physical charisma. like if i make youtube videos they look pretty decent and i dont sound out of breath. i can actually muster to work out and not have it be half assed or reliant on a stimulant like preworkout.

but something i have to come to terms with in the next few weeks, and into summer here is that idk i have had periods of my life surmounted to such magical thinking

so like i said what can i expect

• looking better for the summer

• having better skin

what i dont expect to happen

• any form of sun run

• any actual good “fun times” with other people

but this is why relapse is so hard and why people who choose sobriety seem to always come off as corny and stale to me. how and why i feel like this is me or im turning into this (not to be a dick)

by choosing to be sober it is like we are admitting we are scared of death - totally cucking us spiritually. absolutely long housed -

so im just saying my aura feels drained from quitting everything and the only thing in here is a beautiful shell of my former spiritual self