giants balls

thats all really trading is

last week i bitched out on some long hold that was down 75% and then i sold and i broke even ish

then overnight my position went to -600 $ then swinged overnight thinking it would disapeer up wanting to literally kms then it came back a little i said fuck it im hold to make some cash fuck this

and that ladies and gentleman is real fucking trading

thing is you go through this game without conviction it really is like f you pay me energy there is nothing like it - a zero sum game if you will

there are plenty of lessons in this but really it has been such a rough year - and i really really have to dig deeper to use my conviction to actually change my life

i just simply don’t see a way forward. in life not through this - this is the hill im dying on - end of story - yet many ways even this blog is kind of cope in the way of distracting myself from my true purpose of locking in but

there are a lot of traders on here im just more of a woo woo type person - not that it is all or nothing

i think last week i was jsut kind of coasting you know taking these low conviction scalps and just being kind of middle ground but trading if anything destroys middle ground thinking and you need to fucking believe

so really as much as you see technical analysis like the holy grail it is just such a small part of making it in this - i will change my life doing this - this is what i care about the most - i have been through such hell these past few years

but the universe does not reward energy of being sad and energy of neediness it reward fucking killers - simple as that and i cant let some stupid shit get in my way this is my time

im still going on no nut november i thought about caving last night while i was down so much at one point but this feels like a really important time for me and my growth - i know how fast trading can change someones life

i want no bad energy to ruin that right now -

here is to full balls. balls to the wall.