been using Claude since chatgpt just overall started lagging and i read some lore back in January about what can be done - i still don’t thing anyone on this site really understand how good the ai is - i literally got a weeks worth of work done in a day - it actually moves the mouse

ahem may i say that again - it actually moves the mouse - so im doing minor work more or less acting as a director

past few years have been yoyo trading options sometimes good sometimes bad same with the AI trade but i have this dialed in so much into my life for about 10-30% of my entire account a whole day that i have zero interest in sharing how i do this - just not worth it - have to explain so much back history

ray dalio is retarded. jeffery epstein was actually never a good trader just had insider information. same with buffet. fuck boomers. here is some AI art I made months ago (46 weeks ago!) before i lost interest and never since then saw ai art like it

getting sober has been so crazy and i was pretty irrational i hit two months soon. im going to two concerts bymyself this week simply to not lose myself - we gotta make these accounts gains - keep working the system - refinement

but something should be pointed out that his returns were double the UNTIL 2000 when a little rule was put into place

so essentially before 2000 it wasnt all that punishable by law to disclose things to other investors or whatever in whatever channels there were.

so as i go to make 10,000% this year (which i am doing) there is not a very compelling case to share how im doing it or philosophy but part of the philosphy itself is

to accept the greats of this game are boomer nepo babies. none of their rules apply. they came from an age of abundance of intel and alpha we will never experience as the world eats its self - the only way to make money in the markets is inside information or.. to be early right or… to cut losers - but the math for that changes - even the strategy i am implementing is one of mathematical randomness. out retard artificial intelligence myself

i guess the better point is anything from the past you can for sure count as manufactured and insider trading. total BS. and then when it comes to you. if you figured out how to read charts - and make some cash and out compete im convinced there really isnt a better thing then to just use your inner monologue - like i am here

saw some post on here like - totally screamed indian - idk why - but there are some “college kids” that are “starting a fund.” instantly like 200 likes and tons of new followers. seems dumb. people love this fresh out of the gate stuff

people also brag on here about 300% of total port in 3 years. with this bull market going on. but then they brag with the myth of the boomer in mind. being the boomer themselves. need to transcend the boomer

awaken. babe, its 2026 wake up

worst thing about how i have come to understand trading is there is just simply no way i can ever communicate it

its telepathy at this point. all of the losses and blown accounts and insane gains and just a sweet small taste of the lavish lifetstyle i can immerse myself back in they say it is impossible

or accept life on the terms defined by the cattle

not being derogatory about the surrounding just use your imagination with me

it really is up to you to connect the signs if something has a glimmer

of obvious and you chase it might not be that first thing that works

had someone reply to a post of mine “can’t even imagine ***** ____”

and doubt they checked my post or anything -

the whole world is accepting now thing i had to accept spiritually

years ago - just in the way - any down trend in is really going to frustrate anyone thinking they are champions for 300% gains in 3 years. this gets to the heart of pain giving us understanding.

Trade 1: $1,200 → $1,320 (+10%) Trade 2: $1,320 → $1,716 (+30%) Trade 3: $1,716 → $1,544 (-10% loss) Trade 4: $1,544 → $2,006 (+30%) Trade 5: $2,006 → $1,805 (-10% loss) Trade 6: $1,805 → $2,347 (+30%) Trade 7: $2,347 → $2,582 (+10%) Trade 8: $2,582 → $5,164 (+100% BIG WIN) Trade 9: $5,164 → $6,713 (+30%) Trade 10: $6,713 → $6,042 (-10% loss) Trade 11: $6,042 → $7,855 (+30%) Trade 12: $7,855 → $8,641 (+10%) Trade 13: $8,641 → $7,777 (-10% loss) Trade 14: $7,777 → $10,110 (+30%) Trade 15: $10,110 → $11,121 (+10%)

15 trades: $1,200 → $11,121

big week for bears - i had some puts my timing was off which has led to the lower cortisol system i have of stretching out the timeline - home run days go hard for the side thats right - but what is our math here

P(≥1 home run)=1−(1−p)N

high cortisol - high press - models that sell “services” or attract collectives of people to pay attention to them * some people are so attention sick they are focused more on the attention (fear of being wrong) so everything is vague

but as i have had the ups and downs from my accounts the truth is somewhere in the middle. the 0DTE landscape has a lot of clues for liquidity complex trades rather then waking up to an all stakes game.

there is something hardcore about losing and making so much with so much pressure - where as the middle ground with just a sliver of patience and -30% dips creates a certain type of trader that i am becoming - stomach these small losses easy hold through conviction - or easily say im wrong - have been before

its easy to get excited. then back to shorter expiries - mind plays tricks - the computers seem to know our feelings - Affective Computing (Foundational Field)

so dont be surprised the system tries to veer you of course a bit - trades you were “waiting for” tend to happen more and more often the more you focus on the compound survivability of the account - what will happen especially with these fast instruments is the large sums - they need breathing room, proper control, can’t house a tiger in a small cage really. physical limitations psyche can you catch the trail trade probably not.

lots of chatter about who is right who is not right - that should be far from the focus - the actual focus is

500-1000-2000-4000-8000-16,000-32,000-64,000ectectect model

emotion as input variable

with this equation in here

so where are we now ?

800-838-974

two days

i know 300-1600 in two days is impressive

but rookie numbers.

aim higher

to aim higher we need to absolutely fucking rip the nuts off the 0DTE gamma, literal neck snapping with some variance to the downside that is capped. to be honest i have done this before

but the years weighed on me i became to desperate i was in a drunken, nicotine weed feending phase of my 20s after some traumatic losses most really fucking shoot themselves over in the dark streets of the abyss only a millenial man can endure or would have happen to endure

this is just the account of the most interesting millenial man who ever lived. everything else has been astroturfed fueled by shadow puppeteers but here we have something interesting a true maverick of the abyss

todays position if dated 0DTE would be down -70% to be up 40% which over all is more just too much variance -

so today - directionally knew downside - jsut couldnt pin point exact time -

longer date - 15% account growth - Day 1: $900 → $1,035 Day 2: $1,035 → $1,190 Day 3: $1,190 → $1,369 Day 4: $1,369 → $1,574 Day 5: $1,574 → $1,810 Day 6: $1,810 → $2,082 Day 7: $2,082 → $2,394 Day 8: $2,394 → $2,753 Day 9: $2,753 → $3,166 Day 10: $3,166 → $3,641

First 10 days = $900 → $3,641

Day 11: $3,641 → $4,187 Day 12: $4,187 → $4,815 Day 13: $4,815 → $5,538 Day 14: $5,538 → $6,368 Day 15: $6,368 → $7,323 Day 16: $7,323 → $8,422 Day 17: $8,422 → $9,685 Day 18: $9,685 → $11,138 Day 19: $11,138 → $12,809 Day 20: $12,809 → $14,730

20 days = $900 → $14,730

steady mf trenches

• january - make $5000 from $1000 FAST with 0DTE - BLEW it in one day

• Feb - 300-$1700 FAST (two days) BLEW it

so again we can see the pattern - tasting large sums - and rightly so never backing off because what is the point in that - we want to experience entropy max growth - an account that never stops growing -

first thing have to recognize is the entries are not exactly the problem - its just i happen to land on a landmine with 0DTE through no other fault then math itself - because you have to understand or atleast what is going on here is the chains unwinding their last day is like spectral insane so much they just have to be sized for zero - and there are so many reasons we gravitate towards them - they seem elite - only a james bond esque trader could fathom the complex gamma -

relax - the more you lean into that idea the larger the poverty mind set will compound and rush - and too - the fact that things expire in 6 hours - again - massive growth - fast - but capping for downside is a must -

yet i noticed something here in people posting their swings online and the frustration because while the 0DTE has its issues for itself (massive risk to blowing capital - avoid the sexy carnage) is that seeing people complain because of the swings they hold overnight and now i see why or remember why i avoided longer dates to begin with -

many times with holding over night the gamma decay is so intense that actually both sides lose on the option EX - you have calls for week out jumps premarket dips after open - both calls and puts for one week out

-20%

this seems illogical for small accounts to grow - i mean of course there will be hits but if you are trying to grow $800 - $5000 in a month (not 3 days LOL) probably want to avoid that - so im blending the approaches - no over night holding -

ill report back with my findings here see if we can make a buck today

e-girls

this is by far the most sought after profession with people3 35 and under for various reasons its appealing. it has to do with barely leaving the house while having an elevated standard of living. or maybe it is the deep quest for attention in a world that seems to move on in an instant. a new rock star if you will. maybe everyone has deep vitamin deficiencies and our unatural being to the natural world makes us deeply scared of the natural world.

or maybe it is that life on the outside of apartment/house seems to be very - its just an unfair deal. if there was a sense of mobility in jobs - being able to support oneself with meager work itself (like every generation in history before this) then i dont the e-girl-ism would be the holy alter.

for me however - i think most girls should think about some form of e-girlism - i think things like porn are over sold yet there is still a host of things going on for e girls to do. now this guide is for someone so lets see if they do it

• 99% of actual famous e - girls have armies of simps helping them

  the first myth to dispel here that women do it all themselves. and believe even the women that get the help dont admit it. breaks the image - but yes they get help - they also dont recognize that help because they dont see these simps as real people. what things would simps help with?

• admin organization, faking DMS, responding to emails (hey you have a request to do ASMR in spider girl outfit he is gonna pay $200) for this task have to pay you admin some money but tbh unless your a savant of trading this is very hard

• managing actual twitter posting / substack posting - you may not believe this but all men today are weird they want you to think like they think (incel) yet be beautiful - so i guess think about that - the OTHER thing is is your trying to make an ungodly amount of post to beat the algorith - so dont be puritan about this - the more post the better

  

  919 views

• this woman talks about her boyfriend and gets 1000 views for literally nothing

• all you need to do is get $1 from 1000 people a month or better yet $20 from 100 people (think men over 40)

• dont be like her never allude to your BF yea sure have one but the mystery of being single amps it up

• so in this video i showed she refuses (like all of them) to do individual asmr. honestly what i would do is put such a high price tag (400$-1000$) on i and it will be absolutely worth your trouble.

so again if your looking at this what do we know so far 1 - get a man to help you 2 - dont mention boyfriends 3 - post often flood the internet to prove you are indeed a real gorl 4 - respect your audience - make personal videos just make such a high price dont budge ect

i know people are really super against all this stuff and i think when my daughter wants to i will help her on some sort of channel because the truth is you are a person online before an author or whatever creative thing you do

its so weird you are a stepping stone with loyal followers will absolutely help ssales of your books over any recommendation of boomers at a publishing house.

thing is too like attracts like - you have no idea what other doors will open - seems like there are not many doors for people

if i wasnt dead set on getting better at trading i would 1000% be online reviewing memes or whatever just look how much traaction my shitty channel did - as a guy - talking about one stupid tech thing gained 10 subs in 24 hours almost 1000 views - as a MAN - think if you were a woman with pink hair and a maide outfit doing the same thing

!

chant of rebirth

chant of expansion

pureness of heart

whenever i was looking online for strategy never really thought of given daily expansion a chance through longer dated contracts - probably because the range of price is not really displayed - and say you have a call on and it does eventually grind up the 0DTE ness of it gets brutalized - and if i can do some math here this is my thinking

Final=1000×(1.2)30

(1.2)30≈237.38

sure some variance in there - in january had one red day that went -80% fast - meaning that the ceiling is higher to large and quick of a draw down - i dont mind draw down.

with all this tech and trading and AI and the ever expanding tech always be willing to find a strategy and capitalize on it - i think there are time when or there have been in the past - and

use to like posting on X but i think actually im going to post on here more since it just is free. like why would i pay elon musk to write long articles no one would read also i see no person on twitter being interested in this i think only possibly substack but

i am not posting on here for any clout or whatever - i just like to be my own advocate. i dont think enough people are there own advocates enough - like every single thing in this life is through some b***** approval process and social media thinks its being contrarian with how it approaches it but just becomes like naggy almost

there use to be in some respects a worse b******* nightmare but it didnt follow you home like a specter that today does. lick them paws.

this is true to for some of the other riskier behaviors that i have that are so classic of me - but as they have served me so much (lavish lifestyles for periods of my life) they too must be augmented as im changing seasons for life - and to do this i must have constant reminders of how and why the painful change must happen

-

classicly when someone builds account on $300-$1600 seems to walk away with their tail between their legs after blowing such copes as “i got too big too quick, market is rigged”

and people just seem to miss these little lessons we get. i am going to grow just as big as the 400% in 3 days ( i do this often) just a looser slower approach that will allow me to focus on things outside while capping my risk size down more -

so it is important to keep writing and solidify the issue here -

even if you are right directionally that could pay 500 you never know unless you hold it the whole way which you wont know until its 500 or zero

by stretching the calendar any runner is easier to hold - the payout is less but the cost of being wrong negligible - the hardest part is early account growth 20% on 5000$ is better then 20% on 1000$ in time this is woo woo

sitting through this transformation is just like the quitting or adjsuting relationship with substances - takes time - you may not be wrong in spirit but flawed in approach

you gotta know whats under the hood

$300-1600$ in three days for me -

to blow it in 30 seconds not on material possessions

pure ether evaporations

the poor can never imagine this type of building because they can never image the type of charity

with the charity comes a pure heart they say only a psychic can have a pure heart and nothing purifies then sunlight, or disintegration

but i have learned something so fucking profound ; money is everywhere

purely the calls i bought that violdently were raped -

because one day expiry was meant to be raped

but losing money this way is the only way you can intimatly see the violence the true nature

gotta extend the expiry

your same option that expires in 8 hours goes from $6 - $200 imagine but the timing is impossible if you are wrong instant death - and as they say the truth is some where in the middle -

trade the same way you would an 0DTE but use the 8-10 days expiry lets see

FEB 19 $614 CALL price - $590 (dayrange $482-$860)

compared to FEB 11 $614 CALL price $44 (dayrange $20-$431)

took $300-$1600 in three days / need the same aggression just need to bribe father time more handsomely - no one is right all the time - just have to be right more then most (i am

)

most never really come to these conclusions and i really have laid out mine and i want to circle back on this in the next few weeks, i am relieved excited to build again. truly i wanted to shoot myself. how could i possibly doe another 400% in three days to lose it again this doom suicide cycle. pretty dark. out of the pressure creates diamond and if you can sustain the crashout maybe something good will come -

you never tho want to swing over night - some caveats here right like most of the time the decay is this evil instrument overnight rarely works - so again if you trade like 0DTE you still want to open and close same day -

probably helps there is a great deal of passion in this - i dont think all of this creativity im drawing here comes from simply trying to make money but trading is surprising me with the timelines i draw about myself - but no matter what you do when you see someone have a comeback it probably because they went to the absolute bottom and they still wouldnt give up - there has to be passion

i have made such progress in my physical body - at 34 if you are timing your miles you have to be passionate. the body rewards passion. love rewards passion - the hunt rewards passion. passion will have you lose it all only to come back ten x stronger - universe will constantly test simply is irrational - the world wants you to commit suicide so your nutrients. can grow flowers

so what you really needed was to see some error and focus on monolithic rape

stop fighting the sun learn to dance with it

dont resist arrest cuff yourself

chained to this earth for a short eternity

a gift

the digital experience grows further from esoteric from the day - true knowledge in the moss patch, ice chandeliers - better yet the recesses in the body - the sprint, the chase, the hunt, the kill.

i havn’t thought about my past in a month -

lots of older folks dying - they tell us it is a tragedy but they had decades to prepare

you are arcanum you are aquarius

all is gasoline to fan the fires of the internal monologue

and fire you must take as many shots as possible and exhaust every single option like there is unlimited magic missiles at your disposal

because there are - in the deepest parts of your heart - just must reach in through the ectoplasm and fucking reload

have heart & well armed

for this is the only reason they are nice is they equate being nice to the forces of the world to that of nature as a ticket to the part of the ride that avoids discomfort.

those that assumed they were on this ride are morbidly obese gen xers and boomers still too retarded to use the internet but at least are insulating themselves with enough money to pay for the treatments

depression hates a moving target

just look who is depressed? they are easily caught, easily raped.

i have some fantastic intel in these certain fields

• everything is downstream from biology

• insider trading

• email marketing

none of this matters if you have no grace, no form.

older you get the more time you need to stretch, lift, decompress that insider knowledge you have

in youth you get that nice skin easy - even a hair of looksmaxxing goes along way

you are nice because you are easy to rape physically/financially.

namaste

this kind of gave me some thoughts about how i manage things from here on out - first off - i just need to point out the internet is losing its mind in real time. the past few months seems like the internet was into split groups but there was some cross banter now i truly feel like an island -

since i figured out this software issue i can really work in the ways i want to work which is so exciting. i think i can for sure for better for worse live without social media and i dont have to share things to make money - which if you can do this why wouldnt you share it to make more money

that seems to be the paradox here - money seems to be the most important thing to people on this app. ever single blog post i see on here are asking for money but there blogs fucking suck.

im going to try and see things differently and learn - going past LLMs use them - play it close to the chest - its proven zoomers are more retarded then millenials world is for the taking. i started a digital diary so im going to write more over there. the internet has so little to offer. anything that was good you have to see through seas of bullshit, then there are post about :get your substack seen through google and literally i could not care

i ran like a 6 minute mile today, kettle bell swings push ups G shit 8.5 miles bike

but the goyim mind can only think of a way to monetize this. and not just accept it as a humble way of life

where im not scrolling on twitter make the courage to moisturize the body shower - weekend of biking running and lifting whenever possible

- i am busy always cleaning and teaching my 9 year old but a few things

• those who have rigid fitness programs make them because they lack creativity - and have no animilistic intent

• everything is down stream of biology

• focus on biology and everything else will come

simple the largest reason ozempic and the like work is they focus much on over riding the biology - before anyone gets a work out plan a deep dive into the biology -

i was very convinced for the longest time that our souls have over ridden our consumption of goyslop - something in me thinks the biology is first. become the salt of the earth

this was the priest said this weekend - they physically put salt in holy water to clean it and purify it spirituallyu

circles of salt to protect from demons

just had 10,000 IU of vitamin D in olive oil

the depression is gone

they want us to be easily manipulated

the soul of the goyim is the soul of biology

something normies just are having a really really hard time right now with is the world is changing what use to work doesnt work. just think of anything that works was not the way to do it 20 years ago - ecom, trading, art, dating, business, college nothing pays traditionally - this has created peak jealousy - those that feel they deserve the life of someone else have an obsession with down fall

maybe there is less to go around, maybe we all have a little bit of an issue with abundance mindsets -

it seems the timeline for finding interesting people their emergance onto the online scene to their complete destruction feels sped up and superficial. again im genuinly weirded out by how much it seems every judge, cop, normie, karen, you name it is just after anyone who has like any fun in this lifetime.i experienced this a lot before i started running for cover (never telling anyone anything)

very much a catch 22 - let yourself be known - rise quickly because life is so lame and the goyim have no sentience so the only

way is up - or hide underground with some hos because the opps have to much time to plan your downfall, lesson in that

many have let the subscriber count go to the head. which is why you should unsubscribe. i tirelessly write from the inner workings to stay in my spectral lane, to strengthen my idenity. to become more polarized. more pure.

we sacrifice too much to be a star. the true stars will always mog the mids. the unabashed opinions of a womanizer addict trader far more interesting then the luke warm politically correct millenial foid. just how i see things. i am not entertained. far from it. im embarassed.

im up at 7 on a saturday for the prophecy has become true. i had a very long stint as a drinking i cut right after turning 34. quit smoking and all forms of nicotine too. im staight edge if you will. this is very hard - literally less than 5% success rate. it is smarter to never start. so i get when people are smug about that however

you are a fat fuck. truly. you may never have gotten addicted - yet im 34 - going to run easily four miles. you are in your early twenties. you have the body of a boomer. the daily anxiety i experience propels me to heights no preworkout could do only a lifetime of PAWS.

even though he complains about white people too much and i think he lies about the racism he experienced i prefer david goggins to these zoomers who al they do is work out and serve door dash, too exhausted to find a higher purpose.

please write something interesting - im dying out here. too retarded to read a book. i need it longer then a tweet but shorter then a novel - i am not an author but a consumer - i need to be nourished

time to go run

the world is seemingly complex on its surface is the illusion/fact (depending on how you view it) making looking inward seem insufficient. where do i invest? comment me barrer de ce boulot? how do i talk to women? things are not just what they seem beginning our search for authority.

i remember when i first got on this platform last october i remember the first piece being from some bad boy writer who je suis libre. you too can be free - steps include investments like bitcoin, and buying paid articles. all i see that as is exit liquidity.

validation more then ever has shifted the tone of who experts are. i know when i studied art there were iron clad gates of the entrance to titles like professional artist. then soon before you know 110k solidifies for onlooker what is professional. now, it seems sinister however. leaving 2d forms for moving 2d has upset a whole industry, had them change their own values, to change it again. meaning even old ancient traditions (not arguing they should stay the same at all) but how fragile these titans are to a shift in perspective.

then - the large accounts have a rewarding feedback loop - the authority they have lets them be experts to some opinion - then leaving little work to actually harness or develope the content or ideas from infancy. say you are monetarily influenced to post high engagement activity - if looking at this from that monetary engagment makes the most sense to just “repurpose other content that is already doing well” example below of a post i have seen all large accounts post in a different form. here is two examples - accounts proporting the bitcoin sell off comes from the fact it is derivative the fuck out of this point each bitcoin can be traded/borrowed 5 times making it not as scarce as it appears -

in looking at all these post that pop up makes you think who are these same people the same 2900 likes and retweets makes you think if they are bots, or if they are in south west asia or something. either way maybe what is a promising fresh outlook or repeated but forgotten idea to get brutally rehashed on the timeline - there is no spin on the concept or idea just regurgitation

the loops that are created in our information highways are not much different from those in the past as far as content but things change form in speed, speed is heat, heat combust, different particles in the atmosphere this is insight to how we may not recognize the world around us -

i mean sure everyone wants to be paid for their work but the work itself was really the guts of the operation not a funneling

operation of a team of people behind the face of a parasocial relationship for those afraid to walk out of the doors to the outside

and even the audience of said blogs back then were really only read by people today who are invalidated themselves - people who would read about indie music, pottery, or underwater basket weaving a type of nerd who worked in private away from the public gaze this was a forum for learning what could a normie find at all interesting about this

i could never expect to get any validation on earth through my online activities but our curious nature was never really about getting that. at the time of the blogs back then say you were making some money on writing the things inside the computer felt far away. througholy enjoying the reading but fuck dont want to meet the author.

today is different. its weird it is all about the author

and under the right circumstances you can easily reach out and fuck them

being able to reach into computer warps the writing. the prose if you will. this probably is why writing doesnt even teach anything anymore. beyta males who simp for women and POC are upset THEY are not getting VALIDATED for being GOOD men (again the vanity of the author not the content of the author) or the reverse that the author doesnt do much is just reaching out through the computer and fucking.

i don’t want to reveal much about any of the work i am thinking of writing long content about - and i like writing daily because i feel like it is sharpening my brain with sobriety and i have to re work my spiritualism. again. writing drinking beer is like wow i am so interesting im inspired

writing sober is a lot of rough drafts and crybaby inward looking and i am skeptical of what i write which is good. i think if your going to write something longer there is no middle ground. but that is like sign of the times tho so contemporary nothing feels middle ground anymore

for me less fucking through the computer - validation is a curse not a gift - silence is a gift our own ideas may actually take years of sitting alone, in the dark.

lets think here if you were say to idk - trade blow accounts - your getting in the dog house back to square one - this means fear sets in - how does one get their fix if the money is gone or how does one not blow the spoils if one has these inclinations for party culture. but the devil only cares about money and greed. more then actual experiences. where god is found in romantic nights of wine with love ones. it is found in extra pieces of bread not caring about waste line

the devil is in the looks maxx, the devil is in the marathon, god is the diabetes, god is in the mega church, the devil is in the gym alone on a friday, the devil is gambling doordash money, god is israel, god is designer brands,

now - recently i decided to message someone on r/stopdrinking and i for sure cannot help them - they are like living in motels with a cat with 3 legs - and the devil in me is like god i cannot talk to this person this is more then my brain can handle but she said

“ we deserve bad things we think we do we are self sabotage professionals because we think it validates how we think others feel about us”

probably the most profound thing someone has told me about myself within 5 minutes of talking to me. but drunk me who sees god would take this triumphantly producing good luck from the realization it is in my head

yet i am like savanna field dry tinder rn there is nothing ruminating close to an angel but more like a desert rock, maybe for a stretch a cactus - but they do have some of the most beautiful flowers

yet - the devil is patient. god is abundant. but the devil is patient. had a realization recently, that will take some training to get use to. the idea of patience, money, cutting losses, multiple times. because i am not gifted by god. i must eat -7% loss -5% loss -4% loss on the regular i am not chosen i have no precog i have no foreseeable insight into markets then because of only natural forces like rain or thunder can i get +400% +1200% and enjoy it as my desert gets the one rain to sustain itself and let it run and run and run. god is abundant tricking us into everyday the world gives us rain everyday but this is a lie, the devil is patient, strategical.

yet i can see some of the greatest changes happening. free night tonight that i would simply months ago use for a sick 3 hour bar sesh is going for im shooting 6 miles on the treadmill - and the devil is patient - what took months of yoyo exercise and repeated relapse has slowly slowly turned into being able to set higher horizons that is more aligned with the natural world

for you see tapering off alcohol, leaving the spiritual plane, is accepting the physical limitations of alcoholism

in this last taper december of 2025 i awoke to seeing a woman blonde in a white night gown in the corner of a room was the most real scare i have had in my own life almost like a good bye from the spiritual world and precognition - but this is an interesting thing never explained by drug use is how insane mental illness can get -

- but the devil knows - the world is unforgiving to mental illness. christianity will leave you on the streets. god fearing women never leave their castles for the trenches. if you start seeing things covering yourself in excrement you’ll be labled insane it has compounding effects gods children will be no where near you, gods children are into consumer abundance.

time to forgive yourself for rushing into things. we are not using to living this long on this plane. primordial memories are easily stirred. hard to hush them to sleep. panic attacks we know we are not use to living this long so they wave substances, bright lights, we scroll, maybe what we need is, a little bit of darkness